The one thing that took me way to long to figure out

The One Thing That Took Me Way Too Long to Figure Out

Someone asked me recently ‘What is the one thing that took you way too long to figure out?’ and I did not even hesitate with my response.

It took me way too long to realize that putting yourself out there doesn’t require you to constantly prove yourself, explain yourself, or be liked by everyone watching. Post the work, share what you believe in, let people misunderstand you and remember that your real-life success will always matter more than how well you’re received on social media.

Why it took so long.

I kept believing that if I explained myself enough, worked hard enough, proved my intentions enough, or made everyone understand where I was coming from, I could control how people perceived me. So instead of just putting myself out there and letting the work speak for itself, I wasted way too much energy trying to be understood by people who had already decided how they wanted to see me.

I think a lot of us hold on to the old version of ourselves not because it is working but because letting it go means admitting it was not working. And that is a hard thing to do when you have built your identity around it.

The version of me that did not know this yet was not wrong. She just did not have the information to make a change. And the moment she got it, everything shifted.

The signs you already know.

You know when your prices are too low. You feel it every time someone books without blinking, every time you leave the salon exhausted and look at what you made that day, every time you say yes to something you should have said no to.

You know when a client relationship has run its course. You know when the content you are making is not actually you. You know when the schedule you built is working against you instead of for you.

The knowing is rarely the problem. Taking acting is where the problem lives.

I noticed I was spending more time worrying about who unfollowed me, who was talking about me, or how something I posted might be perceived than actually enjoying what I was accomplishing. I was over-explaining myself, replaying conversations, and letting criticism from a handful of people outweigh the support from thousands. Eventually I realized I was giving people who weren’t contributing to my life, business, or happiness way too much control over all three. That was when I knew something had to change.

What finally clicked.

The moment was realizing I was questioning my actual value in this industry and even my worth to the brands I worked with based on who liked me, who liked my posts, or who had decided to interpret everything I said through the most negative lens possible. I had an anxiety attack because I genuinely felt like everyone was out to get me, and my instinct was to retreat, isolate myself, stop posting, and make myself smaller instead of facing the uncomfortable conflict. That was the moment I realized I couldn’t keep handing other people that much control over me. So I made the decision to keep posting what I want, use this blog to find the people who connect with the real me, and stop allowing anyone else’s opinion of me to determine the value I know I bring to this industry.

Sometimes it is not a dramatic turning point. Sometimes it is just a quiet decision you make one day that you are done doing it your old way.

So, you do it your new way. It works, and you think: why did I wait so long!?

What this looks like IRL.

The version of this looks different for every beauty professional I work with. For some it is the way they structure their days, their social media, their relationship with their phone after hours.

For others it’s impostor syndrome that often is reflected in their pricing.

But the shape of it is almost always the same. You know what the thing is, you have probably known for a while. And somewhere along the way you decided that changing it was harder than tolerating it.

Until one day it is not anymore.

If you’re questioning whether you should post because you’re afraid of who might judge you, misunderstand you, talk about you, or decide they don’t like you post it anyway. Your career cannot be built around making yourself palatable to people who were never going to understand you in the first place. Keep showing up, keep sharing the good and the messy, and let your work find the people it’s meant to find. You do not need everyone in this industry to like you to have value in it.

Inside my 1:1 coaching program, this is where we start. Not with tactics. With the thing you already know. We break it down, figure out what is actually in the way, and build from there.

Whether that is your pricing, your brand voice, your social media strategy, or the way you communicate with clients, we work on your actual business, not a hypothetical one.

Book a free discovery call here. Only 5 spots available in the initial round.